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Sonogram

Posted in Uncategorized on December 29, 2010 by lovetrials

Pregnant?

Posted in Uncategorized on December 29, 2010 by lovetrials

——————————————- Chapter One —————————————–

11:00 am

Sitting at my desk, I was silently cursing the maintenance men who manage to keep the Welfare office in seven different climate zones. The air around me switched from sweltering to freezing a few times an hour. Sweater on, sweater off. Sweater on, sweater off – like some kind of routine from “The Karate Kid”, I could not get comfortable.

“Sushi Girl, is it hot or cold in here? I can’t decide.” I called from my cubicle to the one across the way. Anna is a tall, glamorous girl who loves her Bentley and Sushi in that order. Because we worked at the same job I knew she only ate Sushi when a man was treating her. Otherwise she was constantly “Broke Sally”. “Broke Sally” doesn’t sound as fun as “Sushi Girl”

“For once, the temperature is normal. Milkshake, are you getting sick?”, came the answer.

Well, that was not the answer I expected to hear. I looked on my calendar. My period was due today; maybe I was having a new form of PMS. Hot flashes? With any luck I had entered early menopause. Three weeks and a half weeks ago I took a client to Planned Parenthood and while I was there, I had an exam and the Depo Provera shot. Could I possibly be having side effects from that?

The next day I called my GP from Kaiser and told her about the shot. “Wow, that Depo really works. I think I am missing my period.”

“You should pee on something.”

“Huh?”

“Take a pregnancy test. Depo isn’t fool proof and you have been on medication for a tumor. It is possible it didn’t work for you.”

I hung up the phone and  stared, dumbfounded, into space.

“Sushi girl, can you come to the 99 Cent only store with me at lunch?” I opened my desk drawer, pulled out a couple dimes and shook the piggy bank on my cabinet until I had $1.10.

I have always thought it is ironic for-shadowing that the 99 Cent store Condoms are right next to the little pink boxes for Pregnancy Tests. Obviously I never expected to be buying one. Part of

me wished i could buy tampons, hemorrhoid cream, or deodorant – anything to take the focus off the one item I handed the cashier.

5:20 pm

I am always the last person to leave work. This is possibly because I am psychotically addicted to the work I do with homeless welfare families – and my inner control freak believes that no one can do my job the way I can.

According to the instructions, I was to urinate into a cup and then use the tiny dropper to collet urine and then place a drop onto the testing field.

I hunted for a paper cup, and was not about to use my coffee mug. Finally settling on the plastic water bottle on my desk, I drained it, grabbed the pregnancy test and headed to the Ladies Room.  Peeing into a plastic water bottle is even more awkward than it sounds. But I did it and them conducted my mad scientist experiment, sure that the answer would be negative.

Yes, I had had sex since my last period, It was the weekend of Mother’s Day and I was distraught because my mother was going in for exploratory Cancer surgery the next Monday. I drove to Coupon Boy’s house and told him I just needed him to hold me. I sat on his Ottoman and leaned forward to rest my head on his belly and spontaneously burst into tears. I think he took me to bed as much to distract me and keep me from crying as any other reason.

But that was over a week after I had the injection, so I should be covered and safe. Right?

I flushed the toilet and picked up the test from the hand railing in the bathroom stall.

“What the heck?” – and there it was, the scream heard around the Welfare Office, except I was the only one around to hear it.